reject #15853 (nomoreblueskys) wrote,
reject #15853
nomoreblueskys

getting deeper into not wanting to live

Myspace is so retarded.

It is.

It turns you into some mini stalker, because you're on a friends page and you happen to see someone on THEIR FRIENDS list that you were once very close with so you look at their myspace.
Then wow, their friends with other people who you hated a great deal so.. you look at theirs.. and so on and so on and so on.

So I finally closed the browser and left it at that.

I did all the semi-stalking I think I can handle. Didn't find out anything except who they added as friends so there really is no point.

New subject:
Dria and I had a fucking blast last night.
She picked me up and and we went to her friend, Randy's, house and started drinking a little there and then we went to a bar in Morgantown. Earlier I had bought her a meal at Burger King so she said she'd pay for me at the club and my drink, and she did.
We danced out asses off.. for hours.. I drank, alot.

Afterwards we went to Eat n' Park where everyone there had to say something to the drunk lesbians I was with. So, it was my first.. first hand expirence being discriminated for being with lesbians. I felt bad though because 90% of me wanted to scream "I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY I'M JUST HERE FOR FREE FOOD" but the other 10% wanted me to stick up for them because.. because people shouldn't make fun of anything that they don't understand.

My boyfriend is another story. Ugh.
He called. He called at 4am, we talked for the .0005256 milli-second until the payphone asked for more money and he proceeded to ask me to call him back. We hung up. I called back. It was busy. IT WAS BUST UNTIL 5:08AM! SO what the fuck right?

He doesn't call all day.
Whatever.
I called his work at 1:30 and his lying ass friend told me he wouldnt be in til 5pm.
Okay.
I call and call and call that payphone, just hoping SOMEONE, ANYONE would answer.
Nope.
I take a nap with my phone on severly vibrate in my hand so I know I won't miss a call.
I wake up at 6:30.
No missed calls.
-cries-
I call his work..
He tells me the payphone is fucked up.
We talk for 2 minutes.
It's not a good time, I can't talk.
Okay bye.

Now after all the stress from last night not being able to talk to him, I would at least like I little sympathy or sorry-ness in his voice.
No.

I just don't understand! If I was him and my boyfriend wanted to talk to me and I knew he wanted to talk to me and the payphone, which is our ONLY way on communication, fucks up... what do you do?

WALK TO ANOTHER FUCKING PAYPHONE.

YOU LIVE IN BLOOMFIELD/OAKLAND (PITTSBURGH) THERE IS MORE THAN ONE FUCKING GOD DAMN PAYPHONE.

And one more big thing:
His best friend lied to me. Over the phone, but he lied to me. He lied to me while I was crying to him on the phone, asking him for an answer and he non-chalantly (sp?) lied. I no longer like or trust this dude, at all.
Everytime he tells me someone, I second guess it.

Same with my boyfriend now.

Because now I KNOW for a fact, that he bullshits with me. He tells me "Oh my boss was here so I..." LIE. "I tried to call you but..." LIE. "I know I said I promised but.." LIE

"I love you..." LIE?.

-dies-
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