reject #15853 (nomoreblueskys) wrote,
reject #15853

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Toatally freaking out man.

So, Looking through this thing (livejournal) makes me think.

Why do people change? Why did I change so much from who I was when I first started this?

I told my 24 year old friend from work the other day, that I used to be severly depressed when I was a teen, like from 12 til 16, because we were talking about when we both were prescribed paxil. She didn't believe me. I don't really care.

When I made this "nomoreblueskys" I was really depressed.

I'm now 20. I still hate life. I will say, I'm not as depressed as I have been in my life but it would be okay if a car would so happen run me over.

I'm at my mother's. In Fairmont. Just the air makes you want to jump off a bridge. I hate it here and it's hard to get a hold of anyone to hang out with because half of all my friends are in different states and the other half are working.

I miss my Pittsburgh air smell. The steel. The dirty-ness. I can't wait to leave Fairmont and I only arrived last night at midnight.

Dani and her boyfriend, Travis, drove me down here to my mom's. Travis just got back from a week long buisness trip to Las Vegas and he told us stories, but the car ride, in general, was horrible. It took for fucking ever.

They wanted cheap cigarettes so I took them to the Sheets in Morgantown and I had mentioned before that Fairmont was a small town and that I probably would know alot of people anywhere we stopped (she didn;t believe me). As soon as we pulled up I saw Mr. Patrick, my 7th grade social studies teacher, 1 kid I went to North Marion with and another kid who went to West Fairmont and of course, Colby's sister's best gay friend.

Fun shit.

Life seemed to get a whole lot brighter once Colby and I finally ended it all. Talk about beating a dead horse. And that's all I will say on that subject.

I haven't gotten anymore tattoos but I plan on it soon.

I smoke a pack a day, still. Wave menthol's now. I haven't had one since 11:30 last night due to my momther still not knowing and I just realized how cranky I was when I snapped at my boyfriend on the phone.

I'm waiting on Dria to come pick me up. As soon as she gets here I'm having a cigarette. I can't wait.

I will write more later.
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